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consequences of self defense (hesitancy)

mania's picture
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given the restrictions of the laws and possible legal ramifications of defending yourself these days, self defense can be a drag strip to time spent in jail.
but have any of you considered the possible retaliation from the person you defended yourself from. in my area it is very common for people to damage property, threaten, harass, or even try to jump you after the first altercation. usually the damage is way worse than what happened the first time around. i have a wife and child so that tends to make me more hesitant to engage someone that is looking to cause trouble simply b/c i wouldnt want to put them in danger later. now i wouldnt let someone just kick my ass, thats not what i am saying. i would do what i had to in order to protect my family. the idea of having to look over my shoulder constantly and worrying if my wife will be safe at the grocery store by herself is a bit taxing on the mind. is this a legit concern or am i being paranoid?

if you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
-george carlin

jasonpnsmith's picture
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Madness, I agree with you regarding the family issue. I would have to be in a situation where there was absolutely no way I could walk away before I would do something. Even if my family wasn't around though I pretty much have this same attitude because of reality that someone could just pull a gun and shoot me. I feel I have to much to lose if I get sued for stomping some dude. And being that our justice system tends to make victims out of predators, and criminals out of law abiding citizens, it's not worth the gamble.

----
"The nation that draws too great a distinction between its scholars and warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting done by fools."

--Unknown

eagles51493's picture
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this is most definitely a legit concern, we live in a crazy world. People coming back around a second time to hurt you, your property, or loved ones seems to be a common thing, sadly.

If something happens where you do have to defend yourself, you really do have to STOP that person in whatever way you can. With the amount of people that carry weapons, its too dangerous. Obviously the first thing should always be to try and escape the situation, but its not always that easy. For example, your going for a walk to catch some fresh air, a guy comes up to rob you, and immediately swings at you. You block (first get wrist control, of course Wink ), throw him down, land a couple shots, and he says he'll leave. You let go, he pulls out a gun. Game over. Things like this happen all the time, before you leave the attacker, he better not be able to move his arms and legs, or be unconscious. I just heard a story the other day about 2 guys arguing over a stupid sports game, they take it outside, and one of them pulled a gun out and shot the other.

-Jimmy

Jay Man's picture
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I don't know, but to me it seems slightly paranoid. It's not paranoid at all to worry about your family, but it's kind of crazy to think that if you go out of your house than your going to get attacked. I don't know if you live in a really bad area or something, and if you do you should think about moving, but I live in downtown Vegas and I don't live in a really nice area or anything and I have never been attacked or threatened nor do I have a fear of getting attacked or threatened. Although I do worry that when I leave for a vacation someone might break into my apartment, but that's something else. But anyways if someone were to attack you than you shouldn't hesitate to defend yourself, and if by chance you hurt the other person and you feel unsafe because they might retaliate at a different time than once again think about moving. I do think people are far too paranoid in this world, your more likely to die from the flu or strep or some other virus than you are of getting mugged and killed, not to mention all the other bad stuff that can happen (car accidents, cancer, heart failure, work accidents, and much much more). My feeling is that there is too much to worry about to actually worry about any of it (but obviously you should worry about your family).

eagles51493's picture
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Oh, I read it differently. I read it as being paranoid if you get into an altercation with someone.

-Jimmy

Adrian's picture
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I think the question is valid to a point, however, I grew up in a really bad part of San Jose, Ca., and of the times I had to "Defend" myself, it was always from an unknown person, and when it was over it was over. In quite a few altertcations I've never had a stranger "come back to get me". Only once did some guy ask around about me cause he was gonna "F me up" when he saw me, but that died down after about a week, and I never saw him again.

The only time someone would "come back to get me" was when I got into fights with acquaintances from the neighborhood, high school, or club we would frequent.

Lucky is the man who never has to confront what he is truly capable of.

mania's picture
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let me rephrase.......i am not afraid to go outside. what i was more trying to get across was that where i live is horrible. if something was to occur, if i defended myself, i would sort of be "marked". we have a HUGE gang problem here. lots of minority gangs and a prevalent redneck culture that is very volatile. we are the poorest county in the state of NC. i moved away right after i got married but for some stupid reason moved back.

i am planning on moving again, just to clear that up Big smile

back to the topic. i would die for my family. if something were to happen i would worry for their safety after the fact. a good percentage of the violent crime here is related to previous incidents. THAT is what makes me hesitant about engaging a thug. not that i couldnt handle the situation, but what would happen a few days or weeks after.

here is an example. in my junior year of high school my brother was in a fight with a gang member. three days later i had to run my ass off to get to a police station to avoid a 5 on 1 beatdown at a gas stop. i had no idea who the people were, but they knew me and set out to do damage. that was 14 years ago, its much worse now.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robeson_County,_North_Carolina

http://www.city-data.com/city/Lumberton-North-Carolina.html

a little info on the area so if you are passing thru you know not to stop! Big smile

if you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
-george carlin

ptbeast's picture
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The question is really moot. Look at it this way, you should always talk your way out of a situation or walk away if you can. Street fighting for fun or ego is stupid, for all the reasons others have mentioned above. If you could have walked away or talked your way out and didn't, then it was not really self defense in the truest sense of the word.

If, then, you are in a true self defense situation, your mission is survival. Yes, you want to use the least force necessary, but your goal is to go home to your family in once piece. At that point, there is not time to think about possible retaliation, that is something that you will have to deal with after the immediate situation is over.

There is, of course, a third situation: defense of others. Will fear of future retaliation make you hesitant to step in to help someone else who is being harassed or assaulted? Only you can answer that for yourself, but it is a legitimate concern.

Just a different way of looking at things.

Dave

Alive MMA/Brazilian Top Team
Portland, OR

Jay Man's picture
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My bad. But still, you should move, preferably to a nice suburb hahaha. Or you could be like your fellow Robeson County resident, Sean Locklear, and become a Seattle Seahawk and live in the North West. It's pretty awesome and there is very little crime. But really I don't blame you for worrying about your family but I believe if your this worried about having to defend yourself and dealing with retaliation than don't live there.

mania's picture
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i agree. talking your way out of a situation or walking away is ALWAYS the best option.

i must live in a different space time universe. people here will single you out simply b/c they dont like the way you look. weapons are always an expectation. after the incident a second wave of harassment, etc. is almost a given.

the dilemma i brought up is not whether or not i could neutralize the situation, physically or verbally. its what will happen in the days after if it does come to an aggressive end. the violence in this area does not automatically go away after a few punches.

maybe it is just where i live........

if you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
-george carlin

mania's picture
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EDIT double posted

if you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
-george carlin

ptbeast's picture
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I understand what you are saying. I really was answering your question, only perhaps in a round about way.

Concerns about repercussions from a self defense incident, both legal and retaliation, are legitimate. Thinking about those issues is not paranoid at all.

My point, however, is that DURING a self defense event is the wrong time to worry about those issues. If you hesitate over fear of being sued, your family being harassed, a later attack, or whatever, you may find yourself seriously injured or worse. Your one and only mission in a self defense situation is survival. You need to go home to your family in one piece.

After the incident, you can worry about the other issues and take what steps you can to avert them.

And always remember that being alert to and aware of potential danger is not being paranoid. It is simply good sense.

Dave

Alive MMA/Brazilian Top Team
Portland, OR

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