A serious discussion/questions.
Here's an interesting question for you. When I was first back in school I talked to the girl next to me about grappling nonstop; and we became friends. After she graduated and moved off to get a job, she was still intrigued about my grappling enthusiasm and stopped in at a Gracie school where she lives. She's now a blue belt; I may have mentioned this before.
Here's the bad part. Today she told me that she is looking for a different school because the system at her school is flawed. I told her all fighting systems have flaws, so she explained that it wasn't so much the system but the personnel. Apparently her instructor is lecherous towards her, gropes when grappling, and pressures her to date his friends. That's just the start; she said he's currently sleeping with a married student!! I expressed shock and she said it wasn't the worst thing that he's done. That is NUTS. I told her of a few other schools that I know about, told her to leave her gym and said she needs to report this guy to...where? Is there a Gracie governing body or something? This is despicable and a gross misuse of power. I'm sure it's happened that an instructor and student have become more, but MANY students? Also, as she said: "He basically tries to pimp me out and I'm sick of it."
What to do?
Hmmm...do I want to lose weight without effort, but in Russian? An odd time to bring that up, Comrade Bot. Can that be deleted?
who ever the new guy is on this thread does not seem to care about your friends issue. Anywho, that is a terrible thing to happen at a school man. I feel sorry for your female friend and someone should put an old school gracie vale tudo whoopin on his ass.
Sexual harrassment is a pain whether it's at work, a gym, personal life. And, as Marshall said, many times the blame goes to the female no matter what.
That sucks!
First, she needs to get out of there ASAP. Second, this instructor will be caught somehow, sometime. You can't be having affairs with married students, groping females while sparring and operating a dating service and not have serious repercussions. If you don't say anything someone else will. This guy is playing with fire and will get burned!
I agree with LSBJJ, although I encourage you to be the one to step up and take care of this guy before he can affect any more lives.
Like some of the others said, report it to who ever he is affiliated with, and she should also inform the other students, especially if there are other new female members. What school is it?
Sucks for your friend, hopefully she will find a new, better school.
And rorPriopyhome, don't spam, its a waste of your time and ours.
ON a complete side note BulletEater, why isn't she on lockflow!?
-Jimmy
i know it's not right and all, but she was into it...
Lion, she's leaving the gym in disgust. Voting with her feet, as they say.
The dating/sleeping with students and "dating service" issues are unpr0ofessional and reason enough to leave. The groping, however, takes this to a different level. Walking away is not enough. If he is doing it to her, he is doing it to others. He needs to be reported, at the very least to the organization governing his gym, and quite possibly to law enforcement. This guy needs to be stopped in this tracks.
Dave
don't get me bad bro, i know it hits you in a sensitive part, and maybe i'm not getting what is happening. But getting a blue is not a one month trip(so she had a lot of time to see that), and sleeping with other students in the gym is also her choice and i don't know what you mean about she did worser things but i don't think it was a gun at her head.(literaly or not) If it was, my apologie.
And I agree it's a bad thing and it has to stop etc, but keep on minde that she walked back into the dojo everytime.
Lion, she's not sleeping with anybody there--the head instructor is the one being lewd and foul. I would think that any governing body would yank him in a second if they found out he has slept with multiple students, that's insane.
ahh
okay sorry I totaly miss read that one!
Well over here it's not so uniqe that a MA insrtuctor sleeps with the female students.
robot deleted
Your instructors sleep with students??
She should certainly report him. Also, do other female students feel this way. If there are several a law suit and a criminal charge might be in order as well.
well i could name a few who don't do that. Or don't do that anymore. You know mostly woman don't last long in the fighting arts so they don't treat them equal, (that's mostly because females who give a lot of work into an MA is rare) and mostly woman i think see some kinde of alpha male in the instructor, and because they don't think this is serious they don't minde.(both instructor or the student) It's the hars truth. We had a slogen in the gym: If you "beat" her it's yours. Because it mostly worked that way.
Lol "if you beat her its yours"
I remember when i first joined The Air Force i was talking to all the recruiters and i remember them bragging about having sex with female recruits like it was a big game.
My instructor always says that some BB are POS and should be BB at all just cuz they are dirt bag instructors.
to be honest if i wasnt marrried with children and was a single instructor and one of my female students wanted to get down i probably would. But i wouldnt feel them up on the mat during training. That is just dirtbag status !
No doubt your friend shouldnt have to put up with that.
She told me last night...man, this is creepy. Especially since she's a clinical counselor who works with at-risk women and the last girl who'd ever be cool with this stuff....but her instructor is offering her $10k to marry an instructor to get him a green card. This is actually moderately common in the Midwest with Russian immigrants, but this is too weird for a school. I'm really glad I never trained there, now.
I think Marshal may have just found a new story to write about.
that would be an awsome article. (in a twisted way)
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If its affiliated with an organization, definitely going to the head of that organization is an option (it's tough to say which organization this is, since all we know is Gracie; it could be any number of organizations). Bullshido.org is another place to share this sort of information.
Unfortunately, being the person that rats out an instructor, even if it's entirely justified, can make you a bad guy of sorts. That's crappy, but it's true. It's something to think about.
But she should definitely get out of there, ASAP.
-Marshal